Sunday, April 5, 2009

Top 12

I have a fever. So anything I saw that is offensive--I blame on delirium. 


Megan, the boobies again. Please, you CAN keep them to yourself. She looks like Princess Leia from Return of the Jedi when she is held captive by Jabba and she has to wear that skank outfit. I mean, I love Megan, but if the stylists could stop with the skank, that would be awesome. I mean, really. 


Ugghhhhhh, why are they not listening to me? Why are the judges coming out? And Randy? Waving? Really? Stop it. 


I'm liking Ryan's tie. Why is everyone cheering for him so much? And the judges? I'm not understanding what is going on. 


Nice, the green for Patty's day. That was a nice touch. 


A few pints, Ryan? Thank you and please. Strike that, reverse it. 


Can we not ask Randy questions? Or Kara. Especially Kara. Go back to your writers desk. 


Paula is standing by her predictions, and her jumpsuit. 


Simon. . I don't actually know what he said because I couldn't think of the word jumpsuit. 


BANJO! I hear banjo! 


I'm sorry if people like country music, I don't. At all. I like old country, and bluegrass. But not modern country. 


Let's just say, I only know Randy Travis because of Superstation commercials selling "the best of country: 1987".


Oh my goodness, country people are so nice. Michael and Randy Travis talking makes me feel bad for anything snarky I am going to say in this post. . . but not too bad!


Uh, harmonica, yes. I love the harmonica. Michael is so nice, but since country isn't my thing, I'm not really loving this. It's hard for me to watch when he sings because he makes funny faces and body movements. He has really nice teeth. 


Kara's necklace is really nasty. 


Awwww, Michael is so nice. I'm sorry, I'll stop saying that. 


Simon, you couldn't understand what Michael was singing because he has a Southern accent. Sometimes we can't understand you because of your british accent. Okay? 


And also, I'm totally over the pausing for booing. Has anyone else noticed that? The judges will stop and wait for a boo. Lame. Cut it out. 


Allison's hair is looking good this week. I love love love that red. Okay, so Randy Travis seems really nice, but I'm thinking he might be one of the most boring people ever. Not asking him to dinner anytime soon. 


The people clapping in the front look like they forgot where they were. This is not summer camp, and you are not cheering for your team. Or singing, "baby shark". I love Allison. I hope she stays for a long time. I don't think the judges are going to like it though. Let's see. . . 


Oh, now you can sing the alphabet, not the phonebook. I'm glad we know what the new line is going to be this season. Paula is not making sense again. No, Allison didn't understand either. 


Uhhhhh, Kara, we like precocious? Hahaha, you would. 


Randy, dope? Really? the last time I heard anyone say that was in my first art class my senior year of high school, and I drew a lego man for my final. Some guy told me it was dope. So, Randy, no more. 


KRIS!! Yeah. My main man! Side mouth singer! Smart choice, no guitar, the judges would have had issues with that. This is so good. I'm usually not a slow song on American Idol fan, but his voice is just so pretty. I want to listen to it in my car while driving. 


Okay, so Paula isn't using punctuation while speaking again. 


YES. Simon is a fan. Let's keep this up. No throwing under the bus for Kris (but, can he please start spelling it Chris, because only Santa spells his name Kris). 


Ew, tender moments from my dawg, Kris? That is uncalled for. There is so much innuendo going on in that sentence. 


Well Lil' is looking nice this evening.


What? Hot tub? No, I told you what I thought about the hot tub thing. You may not show any hot tub scenes unless you hand out roses when contestants get voted off. 


Okay. This isn't as good as the original. That is always an issue. I mean, I hate Sean Hannity, but I still hear this snippet for his bumper music. And it's just not as good. 


I mean, it was still good, but for once I'm agreeing with Randy. Weird. 


Lil', it's never good to talk back. The judges will always trump you. Always. 


No, stop, really. 


I think Paula is under heavy heavy medication. Her eyes are half closed. And her boobies are hanging over the table. 


Hahaha, little. I hope Simon will keep calling her that. 


Lil'. Stop. Stop talking back. You look so bad right now. 


Adam is looking especially feminine tonight. 


His head is twice the size of Ryan's. 


Randy Travis is hilarious. This is the funniest thing I've ever seen. He doesn't know what to do with himself. I love how they show Adam being all seductive, and then Randy is looking down off to the side like, "what the hell is this boy thinking?" (ew, and did anyone see Adam rubbing his butt? Because he did). 


Adam's hair is so so cool though. The colors are amazing. 


Oh my goodness, I'm throwing up a little bit in my mouth. I can't watch this. My mom says she feels dirty. No, this is not okay. You can't make this song all gross. Where is my Johnny Cash? If he start pole dancing with the mic stand. . . I won't be surprised. He is acting as if he literally is being burned in a ring of fire. Or maybe I feel like I'm being burned in a ring of fire. One or the other, I'm not sure. All I know is I feel like I need to bathe now. 


Kara, he is gay, his eyes are not for you. 


Again, I'm not denying that he has an amazing voice. Because he really does. But that was not right. 


Yes, indulgent. That was a good way to put it Simon. 


Last time I checked Nine Inch Nails isn't current, Randy. At all. Ahahahahaha. Someone is stuck in the early nineties. Which was almost 20 years ago. 


Scott time. 


Randy Travis, just because Scott is blind, doesn't mean that you shouldn't tell him that his song choice sucks. 


Okay, so if the judges go all crazy over this, I'm going to be mad. Please judge him like you would anyone else. 


Scott's inner homeschooler is coming out. 


Paula is soooooo on something. 


Scott, we've been over this with Lil', don't talk back. I know that as a homeschooler it is what you are inclined to do, but you really shouldn't. 


Okay, so all of the judges told him to do something different. Awesome job guys. 


I'm so glad that Kara is here to sum everything up for us. 


Shut up. 


Alexisssssssss. Her hair is still cool. This is the year of colored hair, obviously. 


Sooooo, this isn't so pleasant sounding. What happened? She kinda redeemed herself at the end, but compared to other weeks. . . that was weird. 


What is up with all the contestants talking back to the judges? Do they not realize that they are being judged?


What does sound alike mean? Is Alexis trying to pull the Kelly Pickler card? 


Ryan got a bit too excited about the dirty Alexis coming next week. 


My fever is getting higher, I can feel it. More delirium is on it's way. 


Uhhhhh, douche time. 


St. Danny? Nervous? I thought he was perfect? 


Are you freaking kidding me? This is the song he chose? Of course. This is like Kristy Lee Cook singing God Bless the USA. 


This is a chick song, apparently no one told him. 


Oddly, his rimless glasses match his ugly jacket (really, a popped collar?)

I know how much you like pelvic thrusting while singing, so please refrain during songs that mention Jesus. 


Okay, this doesn't sound good again. Like, really. Im hoping that sounded better in the studio than it did through my TV. Otherwise the judges are just pimping for no good reason. 


I would rather watch Adam again than see Danny with his popped collar. 


THANK YOU SIMON. The clothes are horrible. It's like Lego adventure man. 


I want to punch him in the face. Or just break all his glasses. What the heck is up with that? 


I'm sorry, I don't want to not like him so much. . . he just makes it so hard. Like, if I could hurl one person into the sun. . . 


ANOOP. He is such a nerd. Love it. That was beautiful. 


Simon, can we not use the term, "zero to hero". That is just something we don't say. Ever. I mean, I'm the queen of saying stupid things, and I don't even go there. 


Go Anoop! 


Dope. . . really Randy? Saying it again? Oh right, you're stuck in the early nineties. My bad. 


Yay! Time for Megan! I love her! I would buy her CD. Maybe because she sounds like all the music I listen to. 


Okay, that dress is not good. 


But I love her style. And her tattoo is amazing. 


So, those last notes were not so pretty, but apparently she is sick. So it's forgiven. 


Hahahahaha, Kara just said, "you're a winner". That is hilarious. 


Her eye make up is really pretty. 


Uhhmmm, Simon just flipped off the camera. Sometimes European people do that. They forget that you can't rub your eye with your middle finger. 


Matt, so my mom still hates him. 


Was Paula just smelling Simon's arm? Is that like her version of the munchies? Smelling hairy man arms? Ew. 


Okay, this is a little snooze-fest from Matt, but you know how I feel about slow songs on American Idol. Nice piano though. 


Maybe something will happen and Kara will have to leave mid-season. *crosses fingers*


Hahaha, Paula doesn't know what she is trying to say. Matt has pierced her heart. 


Okay, so fever is setting in some more. 


I still have to study more for my midterms. 


Ugh, they just showed Adam again. Please, no more. No more. 


I'm sorry for typos. I'm to sick too care. 


Oh, and my mom took it back, she said, "Matt was behaving better".

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