Emily the Magnificent talks about American Idol

Top 7 results

2009-04-22T21:32:00.000-07:00

I hate how they make everything so dramatic.

This is a karaoke show after all.

A great wonderful amazing karaoke show, but still. . . it does not deserve this intense introduction every week.

Ryan, I miss your tie bar. Bring it back.

Woo! Earth Day!

Woo! David Archuleta!

Woo! Paula Abdul!

Ahahaha, Adam and his paper towel for his sweat. So funny.

My mom wants a Paula Abdul work out video.

Wait. . soooo. . why doesn't Paula always do the choreography? I love her dress too.

. . . That was my least favorite Ford music video ever. You have disappointed me American Idol.

Lil'. . . good. Final three. You should be. Her makeup always looks so nice. She has really good eyelids.

Wait . . . why did they just eliminate her just now? That was weird. They are wasting no time tonight. Well, it was her time for sure.

Who is the plastic woman who just walked out on the stage? Frieda? Who? Remind me never to have plastic surgery. That was a train wreck.

This lady in the ugly yellow dress sounds better than the last lady. But this is still horrible. And her boobies are about to explode out of her dress.

Why is it that none of these disco stars can sing? This is the saddest thing I've ever seen. They can't even dance. I'm really happy that disco is dead. . . because. . . I would be beside myself.

Kris! Safe! Because he is amazing! How can he not be safe? I love him. And his wife is so cute. It's ridiculous.

Adam is also safe of course. . . he is going to win the whole thing.

Danny is lame. I'm not even acknowledging him tonight.

Anoop, bottom. . . I guess it makes sense. Although, I would rather the man I'm not acknowledging tonight would be in the bottom instead. That's not happening anytime soon.

Matt and Allison. How is matt's mole centered so perfectly in the middle of this forehead?

What? Allison is in the bottom three? That's kinda crazy. . . no love for the girls tonight.

Lovable David Archuleta! Coming up next? Yay!

He is so little, and so cute.

Wait. . David. . . why can you not sing? What happened to your wonderful voice? Why are you so flat and. . . off? Are you sick?

He is so adorable though, and I just want to hug him. Is it weird that I view him as being about 15? Because I'm pretty sure he is about my age.

Aw, and his jumping around! I'm still confused as to why this doesn't sound better. I mean, I've heard him live. . and he is basically really good. . like giving you goose bumps good. But that was. . . not as good as I was thinking it was going to be.

Oh gaspy, I love you.

Aw, Anoop. . . we loved you. You have a beautiful voice. You should have stayed, and the name that shall not be named should be going home.

Top 7. . . again?

2009-04-21T21:07:00.000-07:00

The judges save is really stupid.

What is the point?

Oh my goodness, Ryan is on fire.

Did Paula just flash a gang sign? I think Paula just flashed a gang sign.

Hello top 7.

Lil' is so bad. . why is she here? This is so horrible. Can we maybe not put her in a jumpsuit? K, thanks.

Randy always says the same thing. . . how does he always say the same thing?

Ohhhhhh, throwing her under the bus. Simon. . . that was c-r-u-e-l.

Lil', you need to shut your mouth. Do you realize how annoying you sound?

KRIS!!!!!! Yay!!!!! Please be amazing!

This is so good. . . oh my goodness. He is so good. His "dancing" is adorable. And he has nice pants.

I love Kris. I love him so much. He is the best. Ever. I'm going to buy this song too.

His wife is SO cute! Oh my goodness.

Wow, still throwing Lil' under the bus.

WOOO! Go Kris!! Dark horse! Dark horse!

Danny. . . . can he just leave. I mean. . really. .

This song makes him seem more sleazy than he already does.

His dance moves are stupid too. What are the judges thinking? They are going to make him no money. They will get old people to go to the concerts this summer, but his CD would not be cool.

Oh my gosh Paula, don't encourage him.

Yes Simon, make that smile melt off this face.

Did he just pimp his dead wife again?

Allison looks nice tonight. This is way better than last week I think.

I hope she makes it to the top 3.

Woo! Go Allison!

Adam is good. . .but I'm a little bored. . .

Oh my gosh. . is Paula crying? Is she freaking crying?

Actually, I like it. . . it grew on me. That was super good. He is always so good. He should win.

His hair looks good tonight too.

How can Paula tell everyone they are going to be in the finals?

GO ADAM! Seriously, Adam is the winner. He isn't even my favorite and I think he should win.

Oh my goodness, Adam might be the nicest person ever.

Gosh. Someone had to do this song. Might as well have been Matt.

He reminds me so much of Chris Richardson from season 6.

Only Chris didn't have a mole. Matt's biggest downfall.

Well, he can go home whenever.

ANOOP! Oh no. . . not another ballad. . . .

Well it got a little peppy. His voice is seriously so good. . . .but he has zero personality. Well, on the show. I'm sure he is a very fun person.

He has a very nice smile.

Oh Simon. . . you are such a hater tonight. You can only hate Danny. That is the only person you can hate.

Go kris!!

Top 7 results

2009-04-15T21:25:00.000-07:00

I'm having flash backs to the stupid boxing match theme last season.

That was a bad time for American Idol.

Heck yes. Miley Cyrus AND Jennifer Hudson??? Just kidding. . I'm not actually excited.

This is probably my least favorite Ford video. . . and Matt looks kinda silly. . . not gonna lie.

This is such a confusing group number. Who knows where they will come out of next! And Simon is a creeper.

Lil's boobies are looking very voluptuous tonight.

This was never a good song . . why are they having them sing it?

They got to meet Zac Efron! Well, if they don't get anything out of this show, at least they got to do that.

Yes! Allison! She needs to stay longer. This is good.

Adam is safe of course. When is he not safe?

ANOOP! Noooooooo. He did such a good job. What is America thinking?

Oh no, can Jennifer not hear herself? Well she is still doing a nice job. I mean. . . . this is not my kind of music. . . at all. . . but she still has a very amazing voice. Oh. . uh. . screechy voice. Nice screechy, I guess?

Anoop seems pissed at all times. That is his downfall.

YES! KRIS! You are brilliant!

Lil', you and your ginormous making me feel awkward nippies can take a seat. Bam.

Matt, we all know you are in the bottom. . .just go sit down.

Danny, you are my least favorite.

YYESSSSS!!!!!! ANOOP!!!!!!!!

I hope that all the American Idol's hate Miley Cyrus. Because they are all a million times better than her. She could probably close her mouth, and still sing. . . through her nose.

No head banging Miley, your hair is done up. . . you now look like Animal from the Muppets.

Dang it. Lil' should have gone.

Are Kara and Paula really doing that right now? They are acting like they are drunk. . . or in high school. . . one or the other.

Did they really just do that?

What?

Really?

Did they really just save Matt?

That is bizarre. I did not expect that.

Apparently they are celebrating with a rain dance.

Top 7

2009-04-14T20:37:00.000-07:00

We are just going to put pictures of Kris up because he is my favorite.

Did Ryan just give up his favorite

thing to say? He let someone else say

"this is American Idol"? I'm so impressed right now.

I'm so glad they stopped introducing the judges. That was so lame.

Kara doesn't know what provocative means? How is she

making so much money?

This two judges at a time thing

is stupid. Maybe if Simon didn't

color on Paula's face they could actually make it through these things.

I actually don't like Quentin

Tarantino. . . I mean as

in his movies. . .I know they

are supposed to be amazing

and wonderful, and I sound stupid saying that,

but I just don't like them.

I think it's because I'm a girl. Not that all girls

don't like them, but if you're a boy and

don't like them. . I would

question your masculinity.

Only my lameness is on the line.

Allison. . .so it started out super boring. . . and

then it got a little more

exciting. . . but she

isn't actually sounding that great.

Which is weird,

because she is usually always amazing.

She sounded sick, and looked kinda

bored. . .or something. . .weird.

But everyone in the audience

loved it, so maybe

we aren't hearing the

same thing that

the live audience is hearing.

Probably.

ANOOP! So I love and hate

this song all at the same

time. Go Anoop! Go Anoop! I love this!

Bryan Adams can suck it! Any

performance that is better

than the original is okay in my book.

I might actually buy this one.

I hate the clothes they put him in though.

Yay, Adam! He'll do

great. . .obviously . . . because

he apparently can

do no wrong. Please

don't scream, please don't

scream, please don't scream.

Ugggghhhhhhhhhhhh. Why? Just once.

Just once keep that beautiful

scream to yourself.

All to yourself. Please, for my sake.

I feel like I just had a seizure.

So many flashing lights.

BUT. It was still amazing.

He is still amazing. And

Paula is still crazy. And

Adam doesn't know

how to respond to her.

Matt's head is so square.

It distracts me. Ew. . . he just

pronounced "love" "luuuuuve". That

would be my pet peeve #834792.

I'm not really a fan tonight.

No one seemed to like that. . . Adam

is a hard act to follow.

Apparently.

Can I just take this time to say

that there is no point for

them to have four

judges if they can't

all judge every contestant.

Time for Kara to move on.

I feel really bad for Matt.

Danny. . . Danny. . . Danny. . . .no glasses?

That's nice.

Actually, no,

I think you look like a

bigger douche

without your glasses.

Or maybe a different kind of douche.

How does Quentin

know all these things

about singing and performing?

Aw, hell no. He did not just

pimp his dead wife again.

Please tell me he did not just look up

at the end.

KRISSSSSSSSSS!!! Yay!!!!

That. Was. Freaking. Amazing.

I think I'll have to buy that one too.

Randy, I hate you. . . what is wrong with you?

That was so good. So so good.

I have no words. I love him.

Lil'. Can I please remind everyone of this:

Yes. That is the song she is singing right now.

Why? Why? Can she

please stop. now.

What is around her waist?

A tape deck?

THAT WAS HORRIBLE.

Quickly.

Judges.

Throw her under the bus. Fast.

Yes Lil', keep talking back.

America loves that.

They will keep you around forever.

Top 8 results

2009-04-08T21:17:00.000-07:00

This is such a dramatic intro.

Apparently that is their new thing.

Last time I checked. . . this isn't that big of a deal.

They are treating it like George Lucas would a battle between a Sith Lord and a Jedi Master.

Yes, I took it there.

Oh Ryan, I love you and your tie clips, and the fact that you are going to say "Flo Rida" a million times tonight.

Ew, I will not say hi to Randy and his ugly shirt.

Ryan and I are of one mind tonight. He called Simon Darth Vader. Apparently we both love Star Wars.

Oh my goodness. I love Frankie Avalon. This is the best thing that has ever happened on American Idol. I want to go watch him on a cruise ship. . . and I mean that in the very best way possible. Really. I want to do that.

But if we could not sing songs from 2002. . . that would be awesome. Especially songs entitled "Can't get you out of my head".

How did we go from amazing classic songs like "Venus" to this?

Is this not pre-recorded this week? Because it sounds horrible.

Magic show for the Ford music video? Wow, they don't do this every year. . .

So guess who has been inspired to have a new photo shoot with herself?

Tomorrow is the beginning of spring break. This will be happening.

I like Kris's shirt. That inspires me to make shirts. Maybe I'll do that over spring break too. So many options.

Adam? Safe? I'm shocked! Just kidding. He should probably win the whole thing.

KIRSSSSS!!!! SAFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEE. Yes.

Anoop though. .. bottom three. I'm not actually surprised. He sang "True Colors", you can't not be in the bottom three.

2nd time Ryan has said Flo Rida.

3rd time Ryan has said Flo Rida.

This is kind of a horrible song. Not really a family song.

Also. . . if these dancers could be bigger hooers, that would also make it more family friendly.

4th time Ryan has said Flo Rida

Did they just bleep him out? Did Flo Rida just swear? On American Idol? Oh, no, he is just mentioning things he isn't supposed to. No Flo Rida, they will not plug your live streaming concert. This is American Idol.

And Flo, please don't complain about your struggles. You have a million bajillion dollars.

The only African American that can complain about struggles is Obama, because he grew up in Hawaii.

5th time Ryan has said Flo Rida (maybe the last?)

Danny is going home! Oh wait. . . that was just a wonderful dream. He is safe.

Mole, I mean, Matt. . is safe. Ryan tried to trick him, but he wouldn't have it.

Scott's hair is looking especially fluffy this evening. Chair time.

I'm very happy that Lil' is in the bottom three. She needs to be there. I would actually be okay with her going home. But I already know who is going home. Because someone on Facebook or Twitter always tells me. It's getting annoying.

Kellie Pickler? I really. . . don't like country music. . .

This isn't sounding good. At all. Oh my goodness. . . she needs to stop playing in my ears.

Ew, Simon, stop looking at Kellie's boobies. That is really uncomfortable.

Okay, now stop looking at her butt. Do you not realize that a large majority of America is watching you?

What is going on with her face? Did she have work done? She looks like she is in her 40's. . . last time I checked she was in her. . 20's? Right?

Maybe she is going for the Faith Hill look. You know. . .washed up country star. . .ohhhhhhhhh, did I just say that out loud? I take it back. I didn't mean it.

Lil' needs to go. And not back to the couches.

Anoop and Scott. I want to pretend that I'm in suspense. . but I already know.

Aw, Scott is so nice.

Ahahaha, Maddy just said, "it's always so awkward when the blind person has to go home".

Are they all crying? He isn't dying. He is just blind. He is more accomplished that most people who can see.

Maddy is on a roll. I don't think I can repeat what she just said. It is just hitting below the belt.

Okay fine, she said, "is he deaf too?"

Is this really the closest they've come to using the save? They didn't even pretend to deliberate this much for Alexis.

Well, goodbye Scott, you are "one classy gentleman".

Top 8

2009-04-07T22:26:00.000-07:00

Who is that dead man in the audience?

OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOODNESS!

They listened!!! The judges weren't introduced!

Oh. . but we are introduced to their baby pictures. Will they be singing from the year of their birth? Because if not then I really don't want to see these pictures.

Is Simon Paul McCartney? Do all british men look like Paul McCartney? Because I think I need to get myself to England soon.

Oh, Ryan was an unfortunate baby.

Why do they keep showing the dead guy?

Oh good, Danny Gokey. My favorite. No. . . not the favorite. . . very much not the favorite.

Why is it that people I hate sing a song I love, and butcher it?

John Lennon is the only person I will allow to sing this song. Ever.

Actually I really like Archie from last season. . . just not him singing Stand By Me. . because. . only John Lennon is allowed to be played in my ears.

I don't even know what the judges are saying. That wasn't anything special, at all.

Does Danny use Sun-In? I feel that the tips are a little lighter.

KRIS! Yay!

Aw, he wanted to be a Taxi driver when he was little. . . adorable.

Guess who is dancing in her seat?

Kara needs to shut her mouth.

It was wonderful.

Paula can keep talking.

It was wonderful.

Simon needs to shut his mouth.

It was wonderful.

Randy needs to shut his mouth (wait. . did he even say anything?).

It was wonderful.

Lil' time. Is Lil's name kinda like Oprah's name? Was it actually an accident? And they just tell people it was on purpose?

Lil' needs to stop with the huge songs that are way to big for her. She is not Tina turner. She can just leave.

That sucked. I'm not even going to say anything else about it.

Except, she "is an artist" *snap* *snap* *snap*.

Go away.

ANOOP! Well that was a nice little apology.

So. . . I don't actually want to know that he was born the same day as David Cook.

I hate this song. Really? True Colors?

So I really like Anoop, but. . . I can't deal with this song. I only see Haley Scarnato from season 6. . . well. . . more like I see Haley Scarnato's legs.

The judges are lame. What happened to "current" or "artistry"? Oh. . I know. . .Kris Allen happened. He was amazing.

Scott. . . do I have to say anything about him?

I feel bad since he is blind.

Can I say bad things about a blind person? I don't think I can. I have to deal with this issue every week.

Okay fine. . . this is horrible. This is horrible. This is horrible. This is HORRIBLE.

I said it.

Scott, it's time to put the "punk" side of you away. . very far away. . . very. . . very. . far. . .

Allison. Okay. . . so her mom is a little slow, and that is why she is a singer, good to know.

She looks like Kelly Clarkson tonight.

This is really boring.

Like. . . really.

I mean, it's super good. . . but really boring.

I'm over it. Kris needs to stay. I'm afraid he won't because of the judges comments. Say it ain't so.

Paula is so scripted, it's amazing.

Randy and I are on the same page this evening.

Well Matt was one of THOSE children.

I still get the home schooled vibe from him. I need to find out if he was or not.

That was kinda boring. Like. . I was actually doing other stuff while he was singing. This is how I know it was boring.

Okay, I hope Adam does really well. I don't want to start not liking him again.

Ummmmmm. . . .Adam's dad is very bitter that he didn't like sports. I don't think he is comfortable with the gay son thing. Poor Adam.

I LOVE THIS SONG.

Okay. . . . this is kinda amazing.

The whole thing.

Wait. . not the snarl. No snarl please.

But the chair, and the blue light.

WHY? Every week? He has to scream? Just one week. . . one week. . he needs to just not scream.

But that was freaking amazing.

Seriously.

WOAH. SIMON JUST GAVE A FREAKING STANDING OVATION.

I have never seen that happen.

Has that ever happened?

I don't even know.

Someone please tell me.

I'm going to bed.

Top 9 results

2009-04-05T21:31:00.002-07:00

First: Jason Castro Tweeted about who got voted off tonight. Soooo. . I already know going into this.

BUT, Jason in the audience. Woo.

36 MILlion votes? Wow Ryan, that is. . . the same as last week!

Lady Gagag is on tonight apparently. I hope that everyone caught Kara's face when Ryan said she was on the show. She was basically disgusted.

David Cook has a latest hit? Interesting.

Is Paula wearing a ice skating outfit? Of all the nights for them not to walk out on stage! Dang it!

Ford time. That one is my favorite so far.

Shoot me please. Group numbers just need to leave forever. Especially this one. And especially ones that are pre-recorded. And especially when you have people who can't lip synch. . .

Last night Lil' had VPL (visible panty line) tonight she has VNL (visible nipple line). Much worse. The stylists have it in for her.

I don't actually want to see a week in the life of an idol. They can put these things online and I will watch them there, thank you very much.

Hahaha, Matt's sexy face was hilarious.

Chef David. Please come to my house. I have no money to pay you. . . but you can come anyway.

Okay. . . so they all just made fun of each other. That was weird.

I hate it when they change up the way they eliminate people.

David Cook. . I've never heard this song. Ew, if his nose could not rest on the mic, that would be awesome.

This song is really boring. He is looking nice though, his hair color is nice, and his complexion is looking nice also. Those are all the nice things I have to say. He is so funny. . . I love it whenever he is on Best Week Ever. And his mom is so cute.

The ratio of Ryan's head to David's head. . . is hilarious.

I'm thinking that the thought going through Lil's head right now is: "maybe if I stand really still they won't eliminate me".

Of course Kris is safe!

Ryan is so good at tricking them this year. He must practice a lot.

Okay. . uhhh. . Megan. . that was a bit much. The caw thing was nice when you sang your song. . but that was. . . a bit. . a lot. . much.

Lil'! It worked! You stayed so still, and now you're safe!

Adam is rocking the Manga look tonight, and is trying to shoot laser beams through his eyes at Lil'.

Either that or the wax version of Adam Lambert has taken the stage tonight, and the real Adam Lambert is at home watching Gossip Girls (his guilty pleasure)

I'm not even going to acknowledge the fact that Danny will be here next week. But I will acknowledge that he is ridiculous in the worst way possible.

Did Megan get into the raspberry cordial? I mean. . .Paula's "Coke" cup. . .

Lady Gaga is like the non-tattooed version of Amy Winehouse. Looking anyway.

And then she is the female version of Adam. . or maybe Adam is the female version of Adam?

That was entertaining.

Oh, and never mind, she totally doesn't look like Amy Winehouse. . I meant Debbie Harry.

Yay! That's really good that Allison is staying.

Really. . . . . . raspberry cordial. Megan. . . . a lot. . . a lot of raspberry cordial. . . .

Well good for her. Way to go out with a bang.

Top 9

2009-04-05T21:31:00.001-07:00

Yay! I love this show!

#1 How is it that they haven't listened to the cries of the people? The judges should not walk out and be introduced.

Simon is calling them artists? I thought that he said that you can be artistic, just not on this show. . . ? Geez, let your yes be yes and your no be no. Does Simon not read the Bible? Oh. . he doesn't? Never mind then.

Did Ryan just do the "this is American Idol" thing just to hear his own voice? Because that is what I feel is going on.

ANOOP! I miss the mentor. They make things so entertaining for us.

Anoop though. . . not so entertaining. . . I mean. . . I love him. . . but that was kinda boring. I can always tell it's boring when I start talking to my mom during the performance.

Kara can suck it. . . I mean. . .uh, Kara, you're such a nice person and I love everything you say, please stay for next season!

Headache Simon? That quickly? I don't believe you.

SAVE ANOOP! SAVE ANOOP! (also, save ANOOP from bad fashion choices)

Megan. . please don't let me down again.

Okay. . not doing a great job with not letting me down. . .

Is it time for my girl Megan to go home? Maybe.

That was. . . . not. . . really. . . good. . . at all.

Megan knows that she didn't do so good.

Oh, Paula didn't even tell her she looked beautiful. That is really not good.

Are they going to make her cry? Poor Megan, it's really her time (or maybe Scott)

Danny. I hate them. I hate Rascal Flatts. A lot. They are one of my least favorite groups of all time. So if you could maybe not group me into the "everyone likes Rascal Flatts" thing, that would be awesome.

Anyone who thinks he is sexy and or that he looks like Robert Downey Jr. can go jump off a cliff. (not really. . . figuratively, yes).

I am in shock. I'm pretty sure we've seen these glasses before. He must have run out of options. I hate this song. I also hate his voice. Not only do I find his portrayed personality loathsome, but I cannot stand his voice. I think it is raspy and gross. He can leave. Anytime.

Snails competing with a racehorse? Really Simon? That was a stupid analogy.

Thank you Danny for not bringing up you deceased beloved.

Allison. Oh, a guitar. Let's see how this goes.

In other news, I hate her hair tonight. Whoever decided that was a good idea should be fired, and whoever was the second person that decided that was a good idea should pretend that they never agreed that it was a good idea.

That was nice. I'm kinda bored with everyone this week. Someone, please wow me. Quickly.

She is kinda doing the same every week. If she could do something like slow and maybe . . . with a stool, like Paula suggested for Megan, maybe

Is Paula just reading a cue card?

Has Simon seen the Adams Family? That is not something that any of them would wear.

Of course this is what Scott is singing. He sings this song every week. Oh. . wait. . you mean, those were all different songs? Could have fooled me.

Ew, the way that Kara says "stripping it down" is gross. She would.

Lies Randy, it was not one of the best of the night. It was Billy Joel. That is all you can call it.

Matt, we all know who the Fray is, also I think that this was a wise choice.

Oh my, is Matt IN the mosh pit? Brave, brave man. They could have clapped him to death.

I think that would have been a great song for him. . . except that The Fray sounds better than he did.

That was the problem.

Well, Lil's problem is that this was a bad song choice. . . even thought she tried.

What is this wig? AND THE DOUBLE SCREEN? AHHHHH. BAD. BAD CHOICE.

This is a horrible dress. It is not making her look nice at all.

Let's scream some more Lil'. Please. It's a great sound for you.

Simon needs new insults. Like, if I hear "this sounds cabaret, like a wedding singer, karaoke, dorm room", I will slap him.

Really? With the child? That was uncalled for. This means that Lil' will not be going home. Sympathy.

Adam, let's see if I like him again this week.

Oh. . . there is already screaming. Let's see how this goes. . .

Okay, so this is fun. . but the screaming. I just can't deal with that. Other than that it's very entertaining. No, really. . Adam. . we know you can scream and make it sound nice and melodic. . but it's still screaming.

Are you kidding me Paula? Even Adam doesn't believe you. Mic Jagger? Steven Tyler? Paula so has this memorized.

Adam's hair looks like a Ken doll. AKA: plastic.

Anyway, I don't hate him anymore. After Kris, I think he is my second favorite.

KRIS!! Pimp spot! Piano. . . piano is my favorite instrument for a guy to play.

Oh my goodness, I love kris. And the instruments on the side? Amazing.

I love love love Kris. He has such a good voice. The music is beautiful. I'm kinda freaking out. This was so good.

Yay! The judges gave him the credit he deserves!

Yeah, so if America could do me a favor and not vote for Danny, that would make my night.

Goodnight.

Top 10 results

2009-04-05T21:30:00.002-07:00

So, they are making this beginning introduction waaayyyyyy too intense. I feel like someone's life is in danger. . . or. . .that this show is even cheesier than before? Yes? No?

Yes.

Oh goodness, did you hear those little girl screams for Ryan? It must be because he looks so sharp in a suit.

Ruben. . uhh. . yay? Not really. . .

Joss Stone though! We have matching nose rings. I feel that it bonds us.

Ewwwwwwwwww. . . the get a room comment? No one wants to think about that. That was uncalled for.

How many times do they have to remind us of this new rule? Apparently every show. Multiple times.

Group number time. Let's see how this goes.

Ummmmmm. . . remember when I said this show was cheesier than before? Well, I would just like to take this time to reiterate that. All of these flash backs to the motown recording studio or clips of motown singers. . .

The nice thing about having Scott in the competition is that it stops them from dancing around a lot. The swaying was good. Nothing more needs to happen.

FORD! I love the colors of those cars. I want a green one.

Soooooooo. . . have I ever said that I'm not a Ruben fan? Because I'm not.

Wow, I'm glad that during this economic crisis American Idol thought it best to fly them to Michigan in a private jet with gold steps.

Adam is up first. Safe. Duh.

Matt is up next. WHAT? I was not expecting that. At all.

KRIS! (I must always capitalize his name). Ahahahahaha, he gets him every week. Of course you are safe kris. America will always come through.

Lil' Rounds. Ryan is being so sneaky tonight.

Michael. I think he will be going home. Just a hunch.

Duet time. Did everyone take note of the ring? Matchy matchy ring squared.

I don't listen to Joss Stone, but I really like her. I think she is really beautiful and talented.

Not going to lie. That was a little boring for me.

Back to the results. . .

Allison. She looks nice tonight (oh no, was that the kiss of death?). She is safe.

ANOOP (his name also must be capitalized). Go indian population of America, pulling through for our man ANOOP.

Danny. I don't even want to talk about the fact that he is still here. I just want to slap that little smirk off his face.

Scott. It's really time for him to go. . . . I wasn't expecting him in the bottom though.

Megan. No, no, no, safe safe safe, please please please!! YYYYYESSSSSSSS! *caw caw*

Awww, Michael pointing to Matt was so nice. Michael is so nice. I want to give him all my money so that he doesn't have to have a dangerous job anymore. Not that I have that much money. . . but it's a nice thought.

Scott? Safe before Matt? Whatever.

I love Stevie Wonder. How cool to be the top 10 and see him perform that close to you.

What is this? Random Obama shout out night?

Well, I called it.

I'm going to miss him and his incredible niceness. They aren't going to save him.

Although, I think he is singing way better than he did last night.

Ahahaha, Michael is the complete opposite of Ryan Seacrest. Hilarious.

I'm not a fan of this goodbye song. It does not make me feel sad or anything. It's not a good song for this.

He is so cute and smiley. Go Michael. I hope you get a record deal with some country music thing.

The end. I don't like blogging results nights. They are kinda boring. Oh well.

I'm going to bed since I got no sleep last night.

Top 10

2009-04-05T21:30:00.001-07:00

So I wasn't going to blog about AI tonight because I just started the show (at 9) and I want to be in bed by ten. So I was going to have to do a two parter and watch the rest later.

BUT. But Matt came on and I think he did so well. I just wanted to say that.

That was really good.

I was never really a fan, but I really liked that.

He is also looking nice tonight too. I have given him a bad rap. I apologize.

Kara is so awkward.

Also. . . is Paula okay? Does she have pink eye? Or was she crying? Drugs? I mean, what is going on? Maybe she should be wearing sunglasses. That is what people at my school do when they've. . you know. . . feel the need to wear sunglasses inside. . . for certain reasons.

Can I just say that if I have to watch this clip for the osbourne's show one more time I'm going to get really upset. It is disgusting. I hope no one watches it. That is not something that needs to be promoted.

KRIS! My fav!

Oh my goodness, Smokey Robinson is so nice. He is someone I would like to meet. I like meeting nice people.

So I love Kris, but I think that maybe he shouldn't ever wear that shirt again. I mean, I like to think I am pretty good with fashion. . and I'm not a fan of that.

He is adorable. I feel weird saying that because he is married, and the only married person I talk about is Christian Bale (but he isn't really adorable). And by Kris being adorable--I mean I want to fold him up and put him in my pocket (in a non-Paula way).

Yay Kris! Can we all say dark horse?

Believe in yourself Kris!! Believe in yourself!! You are not at a bus stop!

But. . . please don't be conceited. That is really not okay.

Awwwww, his wife. I love her. I want her to wear her apron in the audience. That would be adorable.

Hmmm, Scott is in pink pants. I don't know how I feel about this. Just because he has limited vision does not mean the stylists should do things like this.

Wow, talk about piano playing. He is super good. I should know. I can play about 3.5 songs on the piano. Trust me. He's good.

I think. . . . that pretty soon Scott should be leaving. Not that I don't like him, but he really isn't the best there.

Do you like how nice I'm being tonight? I try. I try.

Staged insults? Crayons and coloring books? Can we try to not be cheesy? Please? I mean. . come on.

SEE! I TOLD YOU THE STYLISTS DID THAT TO HIM! HE DIDN'T EVER KNOW! That is just wrong.

Everyone should have the choice to wear pink pants or not. He was not given the choice.

MEGAN! My favorite girl! I love this song!

Let's see how many times Ryan can talk about the flu outbreak.

I love love love her dress and necklace.

This isn't going to good. . . uh-oh. I love her, please. . quick redeem yourself Megan! Quickly! Nooooooo, Megan . . . . please. . . redeem yourself. At least she looks beautiful. She has inspired me to actually do my make up tomorrow. And hair. It's going to be fun.

America! Save her! I don't want to vote. . .

Although I really don't like Kara, she totally hit the nail on the head by saying that the song took her over.

I really would like her tattoo. . . to be on my arm.

America! Vote vote!

ANOOP! He is such a nerd. I think I say that every week. But I love it.

His outfit is adorable!

Okay, so this performance isn't my favorite of his. But I'm pretty sure he'll make it through to next week. How could he not with that jacket???

I must be in a good hormonal state because I just want to think the best of everyone tonight, haha.

Maybe I'll even have nice things to say about Danny. Well. . . probably not . . . but he can hope. Because I'm sure he cares SO much what I have to say about him.

Kidding.

I think that Simon feels like it is a musical because of the jacket. . . it's like something out of Grease.

Wait, what is randy wearing? What is going on with his man jewelry? Did he just get back from a caribbean vacation? Ryan is looking sharp though. Remember that week he wore a polo shirt? That was weird.

Michael. . . I feel that this night does not bode well for you. Motown might not be your thing.

Church it up? That is a new one. I might have to use that. . . all the time. I'm not sure where I can apply it, but I'm sure I can find some good uses.

Like, maybe if I want to impress conservative people I can "church up" my outfit. Or maybe I can just use it in a cheer. You know? Like "pump, pump, pump it up!" I can say "church, church, church it up!". I'm sorry, my inner camp counselor is coming out in full force this evening.

Okay, Michael seems like a great guy, but the way he moves his mouth when he sings. . . I can't look at him. I feel like he is about to throw up and he doesn't want to so it's like he is holding it back. If that makes sense. It makes sense to me. If you don't get it. . . than I'm sorry, you can leave.

Aw, Simon is being kinda harsh. I mean, it's true. . and maybe it's what he needs to hear if he makes it through. . . but I want to go cover his little southern ears. It's okay Michael. . . you get to go on tour this summer.

So do they have to make the show two hours so they can have commercials in between every song? Lame. If they could not, that would be awesome. K thanks.

Lil'. You know how I feel about over-pimped contestants. It makes me automatically not like them.

Heat wave. I love this song though. It makes me dance. . . and snap. I was just snapping along. You know. . in case you want to visualize me sitting on my couch dancing and snapping. It's a talent not many have mastered. Sitting, dancing, snapping and blogging. Jealous?

Okay, yeah, that was good. We all know she is good. She is always good. Is she going to sell a lot of records if she wins? Probably not. Can we try and be passionate and perform? I mean. . . it's just blah. She knows she can sing and it's easy for her. We don't have any musicianship. . . you know, like. . . I need something other than good singing. This is a problem for me. This is also probably why I don't like Danny.

Kara is picking up on Paula's "you look beautiful tonight". That basically means you suck.

Paula, just because she is black does not mean she should run for president. (speaking of that, I have an amazing quote of the day. . .I mean, amazing).

Ugh, I was going to be in bed by 10. That is not happening. Basically because it is past 10 right now. It's not really possible anymore.

Adam, I love his hair. Well, not the whole "I straight iron my hair and it takes me forever to make it look this way. I am very invested in my looks" kinda way. That is not good. I like the colors in it.

I'm so glad he isn't doing anything creepy.

This is actually my favorite song he's done. He isn't touching himself in an awkward way. This is a big improvement. I love love love how there are four of them, and they way they are all positioned. It is very pleasing to my artistic brain. Although, even numbers are not usually good in paintings or whatever. . . but the four is working. And how he is over to the side. Again, I've been inspired. I want to go paint a picture of four guys in a row on a stage. Shopping for canvases tomorrow? Yes.

That was really good. I mean. . . I really haven't liked him in the past. But that. . . was really good. I like the clean look. that was ridiculous.

How am I liking everyone tonight? It must have been the Italian food I had for dinner. Or maybe the green tea I had for dessert. Yes, I have tea for dessert on a regular basis.

Danny. . . let's see if my immense love for everyone transcends even Danny. . . Danny Gokey.

Nope.

Still putting the "go in Gokey".

Dang it, is he wearing my glasses? Good thing I only need them for driving. I don't want to resemble this man in any way.

I'm sorry. I was being so good. He just rubs me the wrong way. And I actually don't like his voice. At all. I'm not denying that he has a really good voice. . .I just don't like it at all. Whatever.

Oh my gosh. The way he says "tweedley dum" makes me want to barf.

Oh my gosh. The dancing just sealed the deal. He is my least favorite person on the planet right now.

YES! SIMON! That was awesome. Take him down a notch! (or two, or three, you know, whatever you feel would be appropriate)

Oh, good, those aren't my glasses. I thought the bottoms were rimless. They aren't. They are black on the top and clear on the bottom. Lame.

Allison. . she is amazing. I hope that she does well tonight. She should. I would think this week should be one of her strong points.

That was super good. Yay Allison!

Kara, if she was singing for 400 years. . . she would not sound like that. Come on.

Paula's mustache. Again, can we not stage things like this? It's not even funny.

There you have it!

I didn't get in bed by 10.

You better have enjoyed this. Hmph.

Top 11 results

2009-04-05T21:28:00.002-07:00

Sorry this is late. I was having dinner at. . . not my home. DVR FTW.

Paul's hair looks nice tonight.

But if Ryan could stop with the nicknames that would be nice.

If they make a huge deal about the judge's save every week. . . I might get annoyed. No, no, no, I will.

Can I remind everyone that I love to hate group numbers? All the girls look super cute tonight though. Especially Megan. But I am biased because I love her to begin with.

Ford music video! These look like so much fun to make. That one was cute, and I love that song. . . but. . let's just say. . . I like Ok Go's version better.

So the recaps of the goodbyes were nice. . . but long.

Okay, are the answers to these questions staged? Like, this is emotional downpour. Is Ryan trying to be the Barbara Walters?

Thank you for having danny go first because everyone knows that he is staying, and Danny, thank you for controlling your "woo". Lil', wow, over the top. . . did she just say, "thank you Jesus"? Oh my, control yourself. ANOOP! Yes! Staying for another week. PAULA ANSWER THE QUESTION.

Oh my gosh, the planned drama is too much to handle.

Hooray, Brad Paisley. . . I actually loathe him. I don't understand this music. My mom and I vote him off the island.

I wonder how they'll handle Scott on the tour. That might be tricky. Megan! Safe! Yes! I love her! Matt, okay, whatever. Kris Kris Kris, safe safe safe, tour tour tour! Oh my, the two A's, Alexis and Adam. Where will this go? (I actually already know because I cheated and found out ahead of time, but I'll pretend for suspense's sake). Randy, do you mean Alexis? Idiot. (okay, forgiven, my mom says she always does that "A" names too). Aw, Alexis?

Carrie Underfed! She is so cute. (That is the word of the night--cute). Oh my goodness. Oh my freaking goodness. Carrie's dress is soooooo amazing, and her hair, and everything. Although, she has no body fat. That's weird. She is so extremely pretty. Um, is Randy Travis going to sing? Oh okay, here we go. Well that was nice. Good job guys.

Well, Alexis, I really liked you.

Oh my goodness, if the judges could be more obviously fake in their deciding huddle, that would make my night.

She is butchering the song. She must be nervous. I feel really bad for her.

That's really too bad, I really wish they would have saved her anyway. She really should have been in the top 5.

Top 12

2009-04-05T21:28:00.001-07:00

I have a fever. So anything I saw that is offensive--I blame on delirium.

Megan, the boobies again. Please, you CAN keep them to yourself. She looks like Princess Leia from Return of the Jedi when she is held captive by Jabba and she has to wear that skank outfit. I mean, I love Megan, but if the stylists could stop with the skank, that would be awesome. I mean, really.

Ugghhhhhh, why are they not listening to me? Why are the judges coming out? And Randy? Waving? Really? Stop it.

I'm liking Ryan's tie. Why is everyone cheering for him so much? And the judges? I'm not understanding what is going on.

Nice, the green for Patty's day. That was a nice touch.

A few pints, Ryan? Thank you and please. Strike that, reverse it.

Can we not ask Randy questions? Or Kara. Especially Kara. Go back to your writers desk.

Paula is standing by her predictions, and her jumpsuit.

Simon. . I don't actually know what he said because I couldn't think of the word jumpsuit.

BANJO! I hear banjo!

I'm sorry if people like country music, I don't. At all. I like old country, and bluegrass. But not modern country.

Let's just say, I only know Randy Travis because of Superstation commercials selling "the best of country: 1987".

Oh my goodness, country people are so nice. Michael and Randy Travis talking makes me feel bad for anything snarky I am going to say in this post. . . but not too bad!

Uh, harmonica, yes. I love the harmonica. Michael is so nice, but since country isn't my thing, I'm not really loving this. It's hard for me to watch when he sings because he makes funny faces and body movements. He has really nice teeth.

Kara's necklace is really nasty.

Awwww, Michael is so nice. I'm sorry, I'll stop saying that.

Simon, you couldn't understand what Michael was singing because he has a Southern accent. Sometimes we can't understand you because of your british accent. Okay?

And also, I'm totally over the pausing for booing. Has anyone else noticed that? The judges will stop and wait for a boo. Lame. Cut it out.

Allison's hair is looking good this week. I love love love that red. Okay, so Randy Travis seems really nice, but I'm thinking he might be one of the most boring people ever. Not asking him to dinner anytime soon.

The people clapping in the front look like they forgot where they were. This is not summer camp, and you are not cheering for your team. Or singing, "baby shark". I love Allison. I hope she stays for a long time. I don't think the judges are going to like it though. Let's see. . .

Oh, now you can sing the alphabet, not the phonebook. I'm glad we know what the new line is going to be this season. Paula is not making sense again. No, Allison didn't understand either.

Uhhhhh, Kara, we like precocious? Hahaha, you would.

Randy, dope? Really? the last time I heard anyone say that was in my first art class my senior year of high school, and I drew a lego man for my final. Some guy told me it was dope. So, Randy, no more.

KRIS!! Yeah. My main man! Side mouth singer! Smart choice, no guitar, the judges would have had issues with that. This is so good. I'm usually not a slow song on American Idol fan, but his voice is just so pretty. I want to listen to it in my car while driving.

Okay, so Paula isn't using punctuation while speaking again.

YES. Simon is a fan. Let's keep this up. No throwing under the bus for Kris (but, can he please start spelling it Chris, because only Santa spells his name Kris).

Ew, tender moments from my dawg, Kris? That is uncalled for. There is so much innuendo going on in that sentence.

Well Lil' is looking nice this evening.

What? Hot tub? No, I told you what I thought about the hot tub thing. You may not show any hot tub scenes unless you hand out roses when contestants get voted off.

Okay. This isn't as good as the original. That is always an issue. I mean, I hate Sean Hannity, but I still hear this snippet for his bumper music. And it's just not as good.

I mean, it was still good, but for once I'm agreeing with Randy. Weird.

Lil', it's never good to talk back. The judges will always trump you. Always.

No, stop, really.

I think Paula is under heavy heavy medication. Her eyes are half closed. And her boobies are hanging over the table.

Hahaha, little. I hope Simon will keep calling her that.

Lil'. Stop. Stop talking back. You look so bad right now.

Adam is looking especially feminine tonight.

His head is twice the size of Ryan's.

Randy Travis is hilarious. This is the funniest thing I've ever seen. He doesn't know what to do with himself. I love how they show Adam being all seductive, and then Randy is looking down off to the side like, "what the hell is this boy thinking?" (ew, and did anyone see Adam rubbing his butt? Because he did).

Adam's hair is so so cool though. The colors are amazing.

Oh my goodness, I'm throwing up a little bit in my mouth. I can't watch this. My mom says she feels dirty. No, this is not okay. You can't make this song all gross. Where is my Johnny Cash? If he start pole dancing with the mic stand. . . I won't be surprised. He is acting as if he literally is being burned in a ring of fire. Or maybe I feel like I'm being burned in a ring of fire. One or the other, I'm not sure. All I know is I feel like I need to bathe now.

Kara, he is gay, his eyes are not for you.

Again, I'm not denying that he has an amazing voice. Because he really does. But that was not right.

Yes, indulgent. That was a good way to put it Simon.

Last time I checked Nine Inch Nails isn't current, Randy. At all. Ahahahahaha. Someone is stuck in the early nineties. Which was almost 20 years ago.

Scott time.

Randy Travis, just because Scott is blind, doesn't mean that you shouldn't tell him that his song choice sucks.

Okay, so if the judges go all crazy over this, I'm going to be mad. Please judge him like you would anyone else.

Scott's inner homeschooler is coming out.

Paula is soooooo on something.

Scott, we've been over this with Lil', don't talk back. I know that as a homeschooler it is what you are inclined to do, but you really shouldn't.

Okay, so all of the judges told him to do something different. Awesome job guys.

I'm so glad that Kara is here to sum everything up for us.

Shut up.

Alexisssssssss. Her hair is still cool. This is the year of colored hair, obviously.

Sooooo, this isn't so pleasant sounding. What happened? She kinda redeemed herself at the end, but compared to other weeks. . . that was weird.

What is up with all the contestants talking back to the judges? Do they not realize that they are being judged?

What does sound alike mean? Is Alexis trying to pull the Kelly Pickler card?

Ryan got a bit too excited about the dirty Alexis coming next week.

My fever is getting higher, I can feel it. More delirium is on it's way.

Uhhhhh, douche time.

St. Danny? Nervous? I thought he was perfect?

Are you freaking kidding me? This is the song he chose? Of course. This is like Kristy Lee Cook singing God Bless the USA.

This is a chick song, apparently no one told him.

Oddly, his rimless glasses match his ugly jacket (really, a popped collar?)

I know how much you like pelvic thrusting while singing, so please refrain during songs that mention Jesus.

Okay, this doesn't sound good again. Like, really. Im hoping that sounded better in the studio than it did through my TV. Otherwise the judges are just pimping for no good reason.

I would rather watch Adam again than see Danny with his popped collar.

THANK YOU SIMON. The clothes are horrible. It's like Lego adventure man.

I want to punch him in the face. Or just break all his glasses. What the heck is up with that?

I'm sorry, I don't want to not like him so much. . . he just makes it so hard. Like, if I could hurl one person into the sun. . .

ANOOP. He is such a nerd. Love it. That was beautiful.

Simon, can we not use the term, "zero to hero". That is just something we don't say. Ever. I mean, I'm the queen of saying stupid things, and I don't even go there.

Go Anoop!

Dope. . . really Randy? Saying it again? Oh right, you're stuck in the early nineties. My bad.

Yay! Time for Megan! I love her! I would buy her CD. Maybe because she sounds like all the music I listen to.

Okay, that dress is not good.

But I love her style. And her tattoo is amazing.

So, those last notes were not so pretty, but apparently she is sick. So it's forgiven.

Hahahahaha, Kara just said, "you're a winner". That is hilarious.

Her eye make up is really pretty.

Uhhmmm, Simon just flipped off the camera. Sometimes European people do that. They forget that you can't rub your eye with your middle finger.

Matt, so my mom still hates him.

Was Paula just smelling Simon's arm? Is that like her version of the munchies? Smelling hairy man arms? Ew.

Okay, this is a little snooze-fest from Matt, but you know how I feel about slow songs on American Idol. Nice piano though.

Maybe something will happen and Kara will have to leave mid-season. *crosses fingers*

Hahaha, Paula doesn't know what she is trying to say. Matt has pierced her heart.

Okay, so fever is setting in some more.

I still have to study more for my midterms.

Ugh, they just showed Adam again. Please, no more. No more.

I'm sorry for typos. I'm to sick too care.

Oh, and my mom took it back, she said, "Matt was behaving better".

Top 13 results

2009-04-05T21:26:00.000-07:00

Thank you for not introducing the judges again.

What IS this new rule all about, Ryan?

Oh my goodness Randy, are you really booing Simon? Why would you do that? No, really? Why?

Danny's glasses make him look like a lego man.

So the new rule, whatever, I don't care. Is that really the big shocker?

I'm a little bit confused by the mansion thing. . . like. . . that makes no sense. . . why would they live there, and why would they show us that? That has nothing to do with singing. . or. . anything. If I see anyone making out in a hot tub this year, I WILL stop watching the show.

Okay, group dance, Danny, please, no more pelvic thrusts. The children, think of the children. Come on, let's keep this G rated. Family television.

I love Ford commercials, but they forgot to put clothes on Alexis.

Yay Michael, you get to stay until next week! They need to make sure that Allison's hair doesn't clash with her shirt, because last time I checked. . her hair and shirt are clashing right now. Jasmine, we all knew it was coming. Matt, oh good, I want to hear more. Kris! Megan! What will happen? Yay Kris! No, Megan!

Jasmine. . . they will not save you. Don't worry.

I do feel bad for her though, I mean, she has to leave the mansion. Where is her rose?

Uuuuuggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I hate Kanye. If he could be more full of himself, that would be awesome. Why does he have a towel in his back pocket? I think Adam learned some of his crotch touching moves from him. This is so top 40, I could cut it with a knife. Does he have to wear sun glasses because he is on drugs? That is what people at my school do, they think they are being so sly. . . but they're not. Oh, dropping to the knees, that is always a good move.

Scott, again, no comment, I don't want to seem like I hate blind people. Oh please, Alexis, why did they drag that out? We all knew she was staying. Danny, yeah, like we didn't know (but if you could stop doing the "woo" thing into your mic, that would be great). Anoop! No!

Do the girls not know Adam is gay? Because I think they don't know. . . and I feel like they deserve to know. Girls, Adam doesn't like you, stop screaming for him. Jorge, you should not listen to Ryan, just take your place on the center stage. Lil' sit down, and thank you for not wearing pleated pants and cotton candy.

Back from the break, it would seem that Anoop has a crush on Kelly. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Please Ryan, keep singing!

That was kinda boring, Kelly. But it's okay, you are still the best American Idol winner (except for Carrie).

How is Anoop so tall? Or maybe Jorge is just really really short?

Yay Anoop! Go Indian population--or the population of India!

Awwww, Jorge is so nice, I feel bad for him. But really. . . it was time.

Pardon my French, but Simon is an ASS. He didn't have to say that they wouldn't save Jorge so bluntly. That was horrible. He is a horrible person and I want to kick him.

I'm not feeling the goodbye song yet. . . it doesn't give me that suddenly sad feeling.

Maybe it will grow on me.

So tonight wasn't a big shocker. I think the two that went home were the two that were meant to go home.